All of us dream. And are often reproachful about things that we have not done. As I step into my forties and see my children all grown up I feel a lot of empty time in my hands. Its then I feel that I should have been more qualified. When we are young, we are very playful and do not listen to our parents. I should have studied to be a doctor, engineer or an architect. Yes! Pangs of guilt on not being professionally well qualified and also not being an independent woman. Dual incomes come in handy in this day when everything is so expensive.
In my childhood years i grew up in an independent house with a garden. Now we live in a 1200 square foot flat. We have to use space saving furniture for a family of five with a dog as it is cramped. My regret is that we did not buy a plot at the right time to build a house. Now to live in an independent house is a distant dream.
With economy soaring, petrol prices rising it is important to be independent and drive one's own vehicle. In the eighties young women in India had just begun to drive two wheelers. I wish I had learnt then to ride a motor vehicle. It is a distant dream to drive my own car and be independent.
We have two married children. I am a typical south Indian and though I have lived in the north we have always lived a lifestyle that is mostly South Indian. Both my children gave me a shock when it came to marriage. My son when he was doing medicine married a Bengali and my daughter a Punjabi. I almost fell into depression when this happened as we now speak a khichadi of languages. The temple towns of Kanchipuram and Madurai which always had a special place in my heart with its cultural and religious identity have lost their significance. My grandchildren speak a mixed dialect and I feel it is like an unhappy dream of us losing our tamilian identity which is so glorious.
My husband is a retired bank officer. We have been a normal middle class family striving to make ends meet. We gave our children the best of education and put them through professional college. Now with some savings we are leading a normal middle class life feeling the pinch with shooting prices. I wish my husband had found a job overseas when we were young so that we would be more comfortably off. This would have satisfied the travel bug in me too.
Note: This post is written for Indiblogger's Befikar Umar Bhar contest sponsored by IDBI Federal. For additional information click here.